Yes, I was told something last summer that totally crushed me and made me feel like the last 17 years of my life were a total lie. It's hard, but I'm trying to move forward after hearing that. I have hope4you that you will too!
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Bumble Bee
JoinedPosts by Bumble Bee
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28
Hey all! New to JWD
by JezeBell inhey everyone!
just joined this board, but not new to boards of this sort.. the board i favored most just changed and i haven't rejoined (mainly because it sux now).. i have heard about this board for awhile, but this is the first time i ventured in.
just kinda.
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Bumble Bee
Welcome to JWD!
Look forward to hearing your experiences.
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35
What are your fears?
by Bumble Bee ini remember growing up we were told not to voice our fears outloud, lest satan hear them and use it against us during the gt.
as a result i grew up pretending i wasn't afraid of anything, that i was the strong one, which is sooooo far from the truth!
lol i have learned that i am stronger than i thought i was, but there is a part of me that just once would love someone else to deal with the fears and tell me it's all going to be ok. .
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Bumble Bee
*volunteers to watch a scary movie with a Canadian Bumble Bee.*
Any time hon, any time! lol The best part about watching a scary movie, is watching it BEFORE the person you are watching it with has seen it, so you know when all the scary parts are coming up and you can scare them even more! lol
There is a bear that lives at the end of the road where the cabin is. I've only seen him once, went for a walk with the dogs after supper one evening, rounded the corner and there he was just sitting in the middle of the road. I just stopped right there and he evenutally just got up and walked off into the woods. Then I turned tail and ran back to the cabin lol.
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35
What are your fears?
by Bumble Bee ini remember growing up we were told not to voice our fears outloud, lest satan hear them and use it against us during the gt.
as a result i grew up pretending i wasn't afraid of anything, that i was the strong one, which is sooooo far from the truth!
lol i have learned that i am stronger than i thought i was, but there is a part of me that just once would love someone else to deal with the fears and tell me it's all going to be ok. .
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Bumble Bee
Crumpet - hope you made it through your day without falling.
JO - ha ha ha, glad to see I'm not the only one with those unrational fears lol Thanks.
megaflower - I'm a gardener as well, I wouldn't take too kindly to a neighbour messin with my plants/garden!
brin - you are living in the wrong part of the world to have a fear of snakes and spiders lol
momz - I find it hard to belive you are scared of snakes etc, what with you wacking them with shovels, mice with frying pans lol My decisions always seem to be wrong anyways, so now I just don't let it bother me too much lol
Mr M - yeah mothers in laws can be pretty frightening
(((((dinah))))) - that cousin of yours likes to take his life in his hands! lol There is no way I'd do that to you with the snake, I value my hide too much lol
A@G - aaawww you're scared of little ole me??
Casper - I hope one day you will be able to share a fear or two with us.
IP_SEC - just have to watch a scary movie with someone special, they can protect you and hold your hand
sweetface - knowing a few of the things you've been through, the fear you have is justified. Give yourself time hon.
wings - OMG - I totally forgot all about Freddie!!!
Twitch - that is a common fear, but one that can, with determination, be overcome. My father was raised with a very abusive father (I sometimes was surprised he survived the things he did) and he made a promise to himself and those he loved that he wouldn't be like that, and he never was. I thank the Universe he had the will power to overcome that cycle, and had the utmost respect and love for him.
llbh - we were "trained" not to listen to our intuition for so long, it's hard to sometimes learn to do that. I'm trying to do that as well.
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Q: What happens when you block my driveway?
by Elsewhere ina: i block your car.. today i was out and about enjoying a rare day off work.
all was well and i was feeling good and having a good time... then i came home and found this grey honda parked in my driveway blocking me from parking in my garage (the one i pay $70 a month for).
ok, if asshole wants to block me, i'll block asshole.
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Bumble Bee
Ha ha ha, that is funny! Maybe he'll think twice about parking in someone else's spot next time. Good for you! I would have loved to have seen the jam he got himself into! lol
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35
What are your fears?
by Bumble Bee ini remember growing up we were told not to voice our fears outloud, lest satan hear them and use it against us during the gt.
as a result i grew up pretending i wasn't afraid of anything, that i was the strong one, which is sooooo far from the truth!
lol i have learned that i am stronger than i thought i was, but there is a part of me that just once would love someone else to deal with the fears and tell me it's all going to be ok. .
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Bumble Bee
I remember growing up we were told not to voice our fears outloud, lest Satan hear them and use it against us during the GT. I was afraid of sooooo many things, but could never feel like I could talk about my fears - there was no way I was going to let Satan hear them and maybe put me in a pit with snakes and spiders (fear of snakes goes back to pretty much my earliest memory).
As a result I grew up pretending I wasn't afraid of anything, that I was the strong one, which is sooooo far from the truth! lol I have learned that I am stronger than I thought I was, but there is a part of me that just once would love someone else to deal with the fears and tell me it's all going to be ok.
There are alot of things I'm afraid of, snakes being one. We lived out in the country, surrounded by bush. I loved exploring the area as a young girl, I was about three years old, put my kitty in my doll buggy, put on my fav red rubber boots and went for a walk. It was either spring or fall by the weather, and I came upon a big mass of snakes all rolling in a big ball! I screamed and ran back home, my big sister was there and she thought I'd been bit by snakes the way I was carrying on lol. That really is my first memory. I still don't like snakes, but I have forced myself to handle them. The largest was a 3' ball python. It really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I'll never have one as a pet, and still let out the odd scream when I see them outside, but know I could pick it up if I had to.
Falling down the stairs is another fear. I'm not sure where I got this from, maybe watching someone fall and die in a movie or something when I was young. This one still freaks me out - and I hate anything on the stairs that I could trip over. If I stumble on the stairs my mind immediately shows me a picture of me all twisted at the bottom of the stairs. Not sure how to get over this fear.
Fear of death and abandonment. My mother died when I was three, and I had terrible seperation anxiety as a child (didn't know what it was back then, before "labels"). I would worry when my grandparents left after visiting that I'd never see them alive again. I no longer fear death, because I do believe that I will see the ones I've lost in death again (where/how I don't know, but I have a strong feeling that I will). Abandonment is a whole other issue that I think I'll need some professional help with.
What are your fears? Have you overcome any of them and how?
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28
A year ago today
by wings ini posted for the first time on jwd.. thank you for putting up with me, and for being there for me.. what a difference a year makes........... i love you all!!!!
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Bumble Bee
So happy you are here to wings and that we have started to get to know each other as well. Really look forward to meeting you someday soon!
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Former workmate dies, I'm in shock
by Junction-Guy injust this week we received some tragic news, that a former workmate died.
i'm taking it kind of hard because i was his training officer when he first hired in.
he was just a little younger than me and had suffered from diabetes since he was young.
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Bumble Bee
Sorry to hear that JG - I had a very similar experience a week ago, a former workmate died from a diabetic coma - also just a year younger than me. He was a really sweet guy, and we used to get after him to take better care of himself and his diabetes. After he left our office he worked for RIM and Open Text, and eventually relocated to California. Every once in a while when he was back home he'd stop in the office and say hi (and make sure he got hugs from all us women there lol). Death does hit you when you least expect it.
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YOUR DAILY JOURNAL
by compound complex indear friends,.
much of what we do on a daily basis is routine and of no particular, earth-shaking importance.
however, after reviewing letters of family going back to wwii, it is fascinating to read what dad was doing on board the aircraft carrier in the pacific on any old day, what mom was cooking on her ever-steaming range, how i was dealing with the roller coaster of emotion at bethel [mom saved all my letters], how nana wrote that she would not study with the witnesses [per my request] but 'here are some mittens i knitted for you when you canvass new york with your magazines.
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Bumble Bee
LOL @ Casper - I do, but according to the township it's a "shed" lol Ssssshhhhh. It's in the woods, a short walk (5 min) from Lake Huron and a small private sandy beach. There is no hydro or running water (solar and we collect rain water for showers etc). It's very peacefull there.
Some good news today - my job is ending at the tax office - the deadline for filing is today, and I got a call this morning from my other employer asking if I can come work for them for about a month! Good news! On the dog front, I have cancelled her appt for Monday to have her put down, she's still doing very good, and the vet said we could have the tumor debulked again - that will give me some more time with her as long as she's still healthy and not in pain.
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What will today bring?
by wings infor some of you, seems like you have your routines, family, jobs, etc....and you can plan you day and enjoy it.. for others of us, everyday is a struggle to make a good day happen.
if i don't work on it, i won't have one.
today will be a good day!
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Bumble Bee
Well I posted this on the YDJ thread - but thought I'd post it again. I AM HAPPY TODAY!!! I've been able to work it so alot of my clients had bigger refunds than they were expecting, and I did it for myself too! lol
I sold some stocks this year and knew I"d be paying capitol gains on the proceeds, figured out that I owed just over $800 - less than I was expecting, but still an "ouch". After everything was said and done I ended up with a refund of $13.13. "13" is my lucky number! lol
Did I mention I was HAPPY today?? I haven't had alot to be truly happy about in a while. This is good!!
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